It Rained in the Desert Today

We dance, we sing, we rejoice when it rains in the Southwest. This letter, written in November of 2007, was about a day when it rained here, but I still had to water the plants with a hose. 

The text: 

Sunkist, burnt to a crisp...It rained in the desert today. 

The ground began to gather in small circles as droplets struck its roof. 

The rain could not soak in very far, because the celebration was short. 

As dirt met heat, the dance burned away water

as birds watched and 

quail waited patiently in creosote ancestors. 

It said, "I could be a rainmaker and this gave me joy! I waved my arms holding the water's source, drinking in the smells of earth and green. 

Then, sky looked down and called clouds to gather like the pebbles on earth--coolness moved in to see what all the talk was about.....If there are snow flurries to the east, surely we can share our bounty here in the west. In the sharing, we free up space to be replenished. 

O Earth. O Sky. 

Let Go!

©2008 Melinda S Esparza

Mail Art and Letters to Ell

What do you do when the passage of time abruptly interferes with your routine, and your child, once the toddler, now takes off for university? You write letters.

But, as an artist mom, it's a lot more fun to make sermonettes more palatable by making art out of them.

This week, in this last week of summer vacation, I'm preparing for an empty nest again. I don't like it.

I wouldn't have it any other way: 

In the company of angels 

In a complex world I think of what it is-- 

To be a simple kind of man 

To be a simple kind of woman 

Arcing a lifespan 

Resorting to good-- 

Making courage jump from a pool of fear 

Making gratitude sing from a selfish mouth 

Graphing a perimeter > (greater than) a stony heart

 

Staying on target 

IHOP toward my landscape

 

oK Ma rt!

 

A new GAP

 

Sears my gray and we UTurn

 

That will be our Gold Bond 

(Then we get a bickie) 

© M. S. Esparza (Jan. 2008)

Tobacco Sphinx and Datura

In the studio, I've got five little paintings and one medium sized one in the works. Until I can say they're finished, I've got the following: Two more journal studies--one Tobacco Sphinx moth, and a Datura drawing I made sitting out when it wasn't blistering hot. 4" x 5," on paper.

Definitely feeling the dog days of summer and looking forward to cooler temperatures. What's the weather like where you are? Does it affect your artwork...the subjects, the number of paintings you make?

Helper Dogs and What's on the Easel Today

It's really great to see inside the studios of other artists. Thought I'd share one view of my humble studio. I'm lucky to have two good dogs offering support today as I revisit a painting of San Felipe de Neri, Albuquerque, NM. This painting has been languishing for awhile and I just can't stands it n 'more! Must finish it up. It adds a little variety on the blog and reminds me that missing New Mexico is an ongoing feeling. The press waits quietly to the left, knowing that the monotype I made the other day is just the beginning.

Back to Landscape Studies...for now

Working on three pieces in one day? I don't recommend it! Makes you crazy with paint fumes and you can drive yourself so far that your body says, "Hey. You're not taking care of yourself!" Here are two of those studies. I'm liking these two subjects. They provide some dramatic lighting as I try to learn how to transfer impressions into paint. This is proving more challenging than I had thought. I wish I could travel more. Wish I had more energy. I'd paint twelve hours a day. 6" x 8" and 5" x 7," oil on panels. 

Oh, but the critical mind is very, very tough. Reminds me that the more one paints, the quieter that left brain criticism becomes. Yet, even a few days away can limit creativity!

 

A question from Writing About Art, "Who creates 'meaning'--artist or viewer?" Roy Lichtenstein is quoted as saying, "I wouldn't believe anything I tell you." Today, I will consider this to be my left brain's cautionary note...

Another journal study while getting sleepy...

A photo of our trip a couple of years ago to Los Alamos has been wandering around, on the floor, picked up, on top of the dog crate and on the nightstand. Okay, while journaling before sleep, why not Caran d'Ache the darn thing?

The crayons were starting to build up and would not allow any more layers, so I started scratching into them with my fingernails. I like this effect.

Still musing about which image to submit to the portrait competition. Go ahead. Tell me what you think. It's okay if one is preferred over another. I'm inviting criticism! I'm thinking that portrait #1 is probably the one I should send in.

Portrait #3

This is a painting I made from a 1920s photo of my grandparents' wedding day. I thought this pose looked a bit like the painting, American Gothic. They really were standing out in the middle of a field in Texas that day.

Portrait #2

Little King of Everything
And...another self portrait. When I was a little girl living in California, my mother, war bride from London, made a Queen of England Halloween costume for me. I was very proud of it. As I grew older, I realized that the boys seemed to be treated with more respect and privilege. This was very disconcerting and I became a tomboy in response. A few years ago, I did a bunch of genealogy research and learned that my family is both British and Native American, plus the usual mixture! (We're talking Heinz 57!) This painting is a commentary on my genetic history and how I feel sometimes as a woman. I was always green with envy that my older brother got to go places and do things I could not...Please scroll down for the first portrait.

Warning: Landscape Intermission

She Learned Obedience Suffering (© Melinda S. Esparza). Here is the first portrait I am thinking of submitting to the Smithsonian National Portrait Gallery's portrait competition. Yes, I know. It is a radical break from the entire flow of previous posts. However, I really want to submit something. Only one submission per artist is allowed, and I can't make up my mind. 

I do have a super real painting I could offer, but psychological themes are more my thing. This is a self portrait, a self narrative, that refers to the way I felt after a traumatic brain injury years ago. Life became so simple for a long while, like a dog's life. 

I read a scripture once that said, must paraphrase: Jesus learned obedience through suffering. This was a puzzlement. Why would he have to learn obedience? Was it his humanity that needed the lesson? What about the rest of us? Having a tragedy, or even many for that matter, is a brutal way to learn discipline, humility...any number of things. I don't have the answer. I do know that we sometimes receive comfort, sometimes clues, and, there often seems to be an angel or two to guide us forward. National Portrait Gallery

Windy Point Revised and Revised Again

Something bothered me about this Windy Point study. For one thing, I didn't think the composition was strong enough. But, it has been so helpful working out paint issues that I have added manzanita and touched up other areas. It won't make it into any catalogues any time soon, but, well...that's not the point. Catalogues are for another day. I'll continue to work on it a little.

The following painting is now available on ebay! It's my first offering and I hope you'll visit.

This got me to thinking about another painting I did before my recent study of landscape painting. Here's a painting I did from a photo of the hills south of Sonoita as we were on the way to Patagonia. I opened the photo in Photoshop and set up my pochade in the relative comfort and light of the computer screen.
Feeling a bit ambiguous today. There is a big deadline that is nagging at me, too. I've got three portraits that I'm considering for submission. I'll post them and see if I get any votes.

Windy Point, Mount Lemmon

Spurred to post after a weekend and one sleepless night, I've got a study of Windy Point on Mount Lemmon. I think I need to go back into this and finish the right foreground by adding in some manzanita. The first hour was pretty rough going. I almost tossed this. But, using a palette knife, I put down a bunch of paint and that seemed to clear the way to go forward. I learned a lot from this process. I used a fairly limited palette and went back in today and added some glazing. The lookout from Windy Point is spectacular during the monsoon season. This day delivered some exceptional colors and light. The crowds were polite, the dogs obedient, but the public restrooms reminded us of unpleasant and occasional wafts of our humanity...

And...I'm done

I found a couple of other landscape artists on the internet that also have been moved to paint the Sonoita area: Herb Wood; Roderica Tilley, watercolorist. I do wonder how many there are.

Sonoita oil study

Robert Henri said, "Don't worry about your originality. You could not get rid of it even if you wanted to," from The Artist's Mentor.

This study was a lot of fun. I had a 5" x 7" panel with a red ground on it. This is the same view as the other studies except this one is worked with Artisan Water Mixable Oils. The question I ask myself a lot is why paint and why paint a particular scene?

Sometimes it's because the shapes and angles just feel interesting. Sometimes there is a personal connection, or the weather is so phenomenal, that it is inviting. This series contains all of the above as well as a desire to learn from the materials. Well then, sometimes I'm avoiding that monster 5' x 4' canvas of the Grand Canyon I've not worked on in a month. © Melinda S. Esparza

Sonoita and Oracle Studies

Here's a quote that I think of often. It probably is the way most artists feel: "I worked in between carpools and buying food and cooking and whatever else I had to do. I lived an outside life, but really I was living an inside life." --Anne Truitt from The Artist's Mentor.

 

Caran d'Ache water soluble crayons are quite the challenge. I think I'll go back to working in oil for awhile. I've got two more studies today. I started by thinking that I'd try to work with the crayons like a watercolor, but that didn't work. Maybe it was the watercolor paper. Maybe, if I'd wanted a watercolor, I should have gone ahead and used watercolor! 

Included in this set, is a study of the Oracle area view of Mt. Lemmon that I did a month ago. Comparing it to the Sonoita Hill study I made today, there really is a different approach. Caran d'Ache is very tricky indeed. Approximately 5" x 6." © Melinda S. Esparza

self portrait study

I received a DVD about Fritz Scholder's life and work. I thought it would be a good time to do a self portrait. I took some photos and then did two studies from those with Caran d'Ache. I don't really like either one, but felt that it would be a useful and humbling experience.

Oh, yeah, it's that. Yikes, they are the most difficult. There is a likeness, but this isn't the way I paint. It's very strange. I think I'll have to try one in oil next. One of Fritz Scholder's self portraits was an outline of his hair and just a nearly flat surface of one hue for his face. I see why.

I like to grow hybrid sunflowers each year. Here is a small journal study of the first flower. The hybrid is called Chianti. Some of the flowers are almost black.

Journal study

Here is a view of the Sonoita Hills from a photo I took last year. Sonoita, Arizona is about 45 miles southeast of Tucson. There is quite an uproar going on right now about a Canadian mining company that is determined to begin mining in these hills within the next couple of years. This view is very popular with plein air painters. 

App. 2" x 3," on Moleskine paper.

Journal studies

One study was from a photo of the San Estéban del Rey Mission. I don't even know where it is right now (in the Acoma Pueblo, N. M.), but enjoyed the architecture and the way the Caran d'Ache behaves on the journal paper. Leaving blank spaces seems to create a kind of sparkle to the image. © Melinda S. Esparza

Making a Mark

This was becoming fun--making marks, experimenting in a really safe place. A few months went by. I bought some Caran d'Ache from a dear artist who later became a friend. Imaginary landscapes, real from photo or whatever came to mind, also surfaced. Caran d'Ache water soluble crayons are a fantastic way to feel painterly in a small or restricted space. Now I carry them in my bag with a few Q-tips. One can use the crayons with or without water, but when a Q-tip dipped in a small amount of water is used, the work becomes a small oil painting. Moistening the Q-tip with one's own saliva is not recommended...think Van Gogh. Oh, okay, be a little wild sometimes. © Melinda S. Esparza

I found the following from poet, Robert Creeley, 1967:

 

"I Keep to Myself Such Measures..."

I keep to myself such
measures as I care for,
daily the rocks
accumulate position.

There is nothing
but what thinking makes
it less tangible. The mind,
fast as it goes, loses

pace, puts in place of it
like rocks simple markers,
for a way only to
hopefully come back to

where it cannot. All
forgets. My mind sinks.
I hold in both hands such weight
it is my only description.

Several landscapes followed. And so did the rain! Reminds me of the song by Ladysmith Black Mambazo: Rain, Rain, Beautiful Rain.

The Book

A couple of years ago, I persuaded my husband to read The Artist's Way, by Julia Cameron, to me. At first the very idea of reading about being an artist so frightened me that I had to turn away as he read the words. Why are we so blocked sometimes? Why do we slink into a corner when it comes to creativity? Well, there are as many answers as there are artists. Sometimes the answers change from day to day.

The book slowly eased the critical self in me and I began to draw every night before going to sleep. The ink pen I was using would occasionally misbehave, so I would make scratchy lines in an attempt to fix it. The lines started to take shape. They became things. Things without judgement. Items free to wander the page--belonging everywhere. These things didn't have to have frames. And, they didn't have to be great.

A Thank You

Dear Kathyrn Law,
Thank you so very much for your generosity of spirit and your encouragement to other artists. It is because of you that I decided to take this step. After visiting other artists that you've linked to your blogspot, it looks like a really great group of talented people. You truly do have one of the most wonderful blogs I've ever seen.

Sanity, Clarity, Painterly

Dreaming on a monsoonal day, waiting for the next storm to wash the desert clean--maybe to clear minds and hearts of frustrations and limits, I watch as clouds build, fall apart, re-form, with more clarity and strength. This reminds me of painting. Looking at all of the wonderful artists' blogs today inspired me to begin. Here I go. This reclusive painter, printmaker, mailart fumbler, and occasional poet, will make a line and then try to cross it. Perhaps to make something worth remembering.